The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Directed By: Ryuhei Kitamura
Written By: Jeff Buhler
Year of Release: 2008

New York photographer Leon Kaufman takes pictures from around the city trying to capture it’s essence. When he takes a ride on a subway and ends up photographing a young woman from afar, he believes she was murdered. Later, he discovers there have been people coming up missing for years. Now, he must track down the serial killer and put an end to his obsession.

Based on a short story by Clive Barker, our story follows Leon, who is trying to find work as a professional photographer to allow himself the freedom to take pictures of what he loves, and not what others require. When he is introduced to an art dealer, she tells him that his work doesn’t capture the real ugliness of the city. He must bring her 3 photos displaying the “real” New York City, and she’ll give him his big break in the art world.

In his quest, Leon stumbles upon a man leaving the subway that fascinates him, and follows him. Leon tracks him all over town, and to his place of employment where he learns that this man is a professional butcher. Slowly, he finds that this man might not but just a butcher, but a murderer too.

The beauty of the Midnight Meat Train is that it’s absolutely unrelenting throughout the entire course of the movie. Mahogany (Vinnie Jones) plays a brutal killer with an eerie sense of content and calmness. His fine tailored suits, briefcase, and clean-shaven features make him an intimidating villain. Even during the scenes of disturbing violence, he dispatches his victims in a rather tranquil state.

The film resembles the short story very faithfully in the basic skeleton structure, but a lot was added to stretch it out to feature length form. Leon has a girlfriend who plays a rather large role, and the obsession with Mahogany is something unique to the film. There are a lot of weirds sequences with Leon that I’m not sure of. I don’t know if he was foreshadowing, dreaming, or the things were actually happening. Keep in mind these aren’t bad additions at all, but additions nonetheless.

The violence is disturbing, but at some times very cool to look at. Of course, that’s because of Ryuhei Kitamura crazy direction. There are so many viewpoints in this movie that are completely unique to any horror film. It’s very strange to see humans hung up like cattle and squirm; when animals get the same treatment without batting an eye. Lots of style in this one, which helps out the low budget tremendously. As the title implies, most of this violence takes place in a subway train, which suddenly becomes very claustrophobic when you have a madman chasing after you. The final 20 minutes of this film capture a subway showdown better than any film I’ve ever seen.

I’ve heard complaints about the lead character not being strong enough, but it was fine with me. There are plenty of incredibly tense moments where he’s completely believable in his fright. As I went into briefly above, Vinnie Jones is the perfect silent killer. The way he was filmed made him look big and imposing. Weird to see Brooke Shields in a film of this nature, but I have no complaints. The addition of Leon’s girlfriend was a nice way to propel the story forward when Leon was in a bind. Throw in a fight between Mahogany and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and you have the makings of giddy amusement.

The only thing I can find fans of horror struggling with is the ending. If you haven’t read the short story, there is no way to see what’s coming. Although there are some characters that are too brooding as to almost give up the ending, you can only sense the climax coming, but not what that climax includes.

When it’s all said and done, it’s finally a horror movie to be proud of. I definitely encourage a theater viewing, since this is the type of horror movie that we fans need to support. Vinnie Jones is an awesome villain, and my faith in Clive Barker adaptations are as rigid as ever. If you know anything about the man, then you know that a faithful version of any of his stories will be some damn good entertainment.

9.1/10

Halloween (2007)

Directed By: Rob Zombie
Written By: Rob Zombie
Year of Release: 2007

When I heard Rob Zombie was attached to a Halloween project I was cautiously optimistic, as I thought the previous sequel Halloween Resurrection was awful. I figured he could breathe some new life in the series. However, when I heard it was going to be a remake, needless to say I was less than thrilled. The original Halloween is an absolute untouched classic. I admit that I hold it a little closer than most genre fans who are going to see it for Rob Zombie. Despite my love for the original, I understand that this is Rob Zombie’s vision.

Unfortunately, Rob Zombie missed the mark. Perhaps not completely, but pretty damn close. One of the biggest problems with this (which I feared), is that it’s “The cast of the Devil’s Rejects takes on Halloween.” Zombie tries to back in so many friends and horror alumni that you can’t enjoy the movie. You are constantly seeing horror alumni in their classic roles, and not the characters they are supposed to portray in this film. I figured because Rob Zombie was such a fan of the genre that he wouldn’t do something like that.

What is with the backstory of Michael Myers anyway? I understand wanting to make it different from the original, but if you show the origin of Michael, you take away what makes him terrifying. Why did he snap in the original? He was a perfectly normal little boy and then he kills his sister for what reason? Not because he couldn’t go trick or treating, but because something devilish inside him was driving him to murder.

We are instead subjected to the cliche of broken home = serial killer in the making. I don’t get this at all, because Rob Zombie is a horror fan first. Doesn’t he understand that horror fans have to fight this exact stereotype every single day? According to this movie, if we love horror movies and our home lives aren’t the best, then that makes us serial killers waiting to fall off the edge.

Michael shouldn’t have been talking at all, period. We are treated to Michael cursing, yelling, and then crying because he can’t go home with his mommy. This child is supposed to have no feelings, his conscience is missing, and he’s pure evil incarnate. Why is he crying and whining? If this is a being without remorse, why does he show emotion?

Which leads me once again to the absolute contradictions in this story. Loomis is talking the whole time about Michael having no mercy and no sense of right and wrong. Yet when he kidnaps Laurie, he doesn’t kill her, but rather kneels down in front of her and wants a fucking hug? Did I miss something? Pure evil now has compassion?

Why is Michael made to be an anti-hero? Once we see him abused at a younger age, when he breaks out there is no FEAR. When he puts on the mask, it’s projecting that little abused child into a man’s body, which doesn’t make us dread the coming of Michael, but feel sorry for him.

The dialogue was screwed right from the opening scene. When has Halloween every been about using words like “skullfucking” and that lovely word that starts with a “C” describing a female vagina? All of William Forsythe’s dialogue makes me cringe, and I wish I hadn’t seen it. It’s ab-fucking-surd. Is Rob even capable of writing a movie without white trash? I’ve yet to see him be able to do anything other than that.

We are treated to extended scenes with people like “Big Joe Grizzly” and stripper montages for what reason? That time should have been spent with Myers and Loomis having more one on one sessions if they were so intent on going that route. We should see Loomis going mad because he can’t crack open Michael’s mind. I don’t really care about Sheri Moon shaking her bony ass on a stripper pole.

Where is the suspense? Why do so many directors think killing off a bunch of people makes a movie scary? In the ultimate irony, the only suspenseful moments in the film are shots that Rob did paying homage to the original Halloween. Guess we have to give credit to John Carpenter for what little suspense this movie had.

With all of the negative aspects of this movie, there are some things that I did like. When I first checked out the trailer, I figured Rob was going to make Michael like some Jason Voorhees decapitating killer, but he didn’t. The kills are pretty realistic in the sense that it’s stuff that humans are certainly capable of. Michael isn’t really supernatural at all in this one. The music of course is another highlight, and I appreciate the fact that Rob stuck with it. However, since he didn’t create it, I can’t really give him the credit of having it in the film.

The look of Michael Myers is great. It’s the best looking mask he’s had since the original. Although, once again, Rob had nothing to do with the creation of that either. Tyler Mane looks absolutely massive and imposing as Michael Myers, but the way he walks cracks me up.

I help but think that this film is commercialization at it’s worst. The girl who plays Laurie is wearing a Total Skull hoodie which reeks of “buy my wife’s shitty clothing line!” I’m not going to lie and say it’s the worst I’ve seen, but after watching this I find myself wishing that Rob would have left Halloween alone.

4.8/10

Halloween Resurrection (2002)

Directed By: Rick Rosenthal
Written By: Larry Brand and Sean Hood
Year of Release: 2002

When a group of college students win a contest to spend the night in the childhood home of brutal serial killer Michael Myers, they expect a few scares, but none of them are prepared for what awaits them. The house has been rigged with cameras to be broadcasted live over the internet. As they wander around the house in search of some kind of answer for Michael’s murderous actions, they find a bigger problem. Michael has come home, and he doesn’t intend to let anyone leave his house alive.

I’ll admit, this is the first Halloween movie that I caught a preview for and went “this is gonna fucking suck.” The fact that it was starring the likes of Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks give you that sinking feeling of an impending doom.

The plot follows the reality TV production company “Dangertainment” to the childhood home of Michael Myers where they will investigate to find clues for his madness. At least 40% of the film is shown in fuzzy first-person “POV” shots that don’t do anything to build suspense or terror, only frustration. I hate reality television, so the idea was terrible from the initial conception. Of course, the house isn’t empty, Michael shows up, and the already flawed story continues the descent into mediocrity.

The way they explained how Michael survived the events of H20 is very clever, but you have to wonder if they exhausted all of their creative juices on that idea. Why didn’t the guy in the van in H20 take the mask off? His hands are strong enough to open a body bag, but not strong enough to peel a latex mask off his face? Why wasn’t he killed instantly when a 4,000 pound automobile smashed into his spine?

Rap stars/Musicians/Pop Stars in horror movies will never work. Busta Rhymes? Love him as a rapper, but he’s an awful actor. Watching the parts of him interacting with Michael Myers are both painful and hilarious to see. The terrible dialogue that is spewed from Busta’s mouth makes you wonder if it was done intentionally as comedy. Watch any previous Halloween movie, and you’ll see that Michael can take anything from gunshots to stab wounds and not be moved. Yet, some karate from Busta Rhymes and suddenly he can’t defend himself?

Myers is brooding enough, but I swear the mask gets worse as the series goes on. Yeah, it doesn’t matter to some people, but to me it’s a big factor in determining if he’s scary or not. The problem is the mask has a very distinct facial expression, which should not be associated with Michael Myers. It should be soulless and blank.

The opening of this movie is the only thing in this film that can be called decent. However, once again they completely ignore parts 3-6 as the narration says that he disappeared for 20 years and wasn’t heard from between ’78 and ’98. Sadly, they even manage to fuck up the opening. How can you dispatch arguably the most important character of the series barring Michael in such an uninspired way? Not only that, but you do it at the very beginning of the movie? I fail to see any logic in this decision. straightforward

A big problem with the latter sequels of the Halloween series is that they didn’t have a Loomis type character to drive the film. All the others were surrounded around Loomis finding Michael, and attempting to put a stop to him. This film suffers from the same downfall. If Laurie had been kept around, the story could have been a lot more interesting.

In the end, this is a movie that I really can’t defend. The reality TV angle may have been a clever draw for a mainstream audience, but no self-respecting horror fan can throughly enjoy this. If you are a fan of the Halloween series, you shouldn’t be in any rush to watch this. This is the worst of the series.

4.2/10

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

Directed By: Steve Miner
Written By: Robert Zappia and Matt Greenberg
Year of Release: 1998

After faking her death and changing her name to evade the murderous Michael Myers, Laurie Strode, now a teacher at a Southern California private school, is again targeted by her nemesis. Most of the school goes away on a trip, but her son John stays behind along with his girlfriend and a couple of other kids. John is now the age that Laurie was when Michael first attacked her friends, and she is scared and over-protective. However, her fears are proved right when Michael returns to town.

We all knew it would eventually happen right? A Halloween film made in the post-Scream MTV slasher era. It’s even complete with the poster of headshots of all the stars in a descending appearance. It even has stars from a horror fan’s favorite network, the WB!

Unfortunately for us, the entire film is confused on what it wants to be. Does it go classic Halloween style or follow the post-Scream slasher formula that dozens of others have used? After many times of viewing this, I still don’t entirely get it. If you watch Halloween 1 and 2 as a prelude to this the continuity follows through really nicely. The events that transpired in parts 4-6 are completely ignored for the sake of non-confusion. For those not in the know, the H20 refers to 20 years since the Haddonfield events in 1978.

Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Laurie Strode, but under a different name to hide away from that crazy psycho in the family. The random WB teen stars fit in their roles as flesh for Michael to hack up. I normally don’t support rap stars in horror films, but LL Cool J is somehow believable as the security guard.

One thing that bugs me about this film is Michael’s mask. To put it bluntly, it looks like shit. This movie had a chance to at least be scary if there was a decent mask to work with. It really sticks out when they constantly zoom in on it and expose it for the terrible piece of latex it is. During one scene, they zoom in directly on Michael’s eye and it’s silver in color. Is Michael actually a terminator robot?!

The film is helmed by Steve Miner who’s known most notably for his direction of Friday the 13th part 1 and 2. Let’s be honest, this is just Miner trying his best to impersonate John Carpenter. There are so many homages to the original Halloween in here that are done much less effectively than in their original form. Whether it’s Laurie speaking exact dialogue from 1978 or Michael standing outside of the school classroom staring in at his target. It’s an homage at best; imitation at worst.

The score is actually a big mess. The score is actually recycled from Scream, Scream 2, and Mimic. Creative differences were said to be the problem, but is that really an excuse? Bottom line being, it’s a Halloween film; if all else fails, use the original score.

The entire film takes place in a sunny California town with a prep school used as the backdrop for the festivities. The main problem is that there is no Halloween atmosphere in California. Yes, the original Halloween was shot in California, but it was taking place in the fictional midwestern town of Haddonfield. There is no fall weather to be found on the west coast.

Unlike it’s predecessors, this film relies on gory murders instead of the traditional Halloween scares. I prefer the latter in all respects. One kill is pretty gruesome for the non-savvy horror viewer. Still, some parts cut the camera away and let you imagine what happened.

Overall, the movie is a victim of one of those “good ideas gone bad.” The film is way too modern, and does not bare any roots of what made the original so scary. In relation to the natural progression of the characters, the story fits, but that’s all. If you want to watch Michael take on a California prep school, then by all means, enjoy.

6.9/10

Halloween 6: The Producer’s Cut (1995)

Directed By: Joe Chappelle
Written By: Daniel Farrands
Year of Release: Not released to the public

Dr. Sam Loomis is once again in pursuit of the homicidal Michael Myers. Now driven by a satanic power, Myers chases his grown niece and her child to his midwestern hometown of Haddonfield. Although the town is trying to overcome it’s past history of nightmarish bloodletting, a local radio shock jock is stirring things up again and the unlucky residents of Myers’ former house are turning up dead.

This is easily the most talked about film in the Halloween fanbase, even more so than the original because of the cult status it has now achieved. For those not in the know, this version contains over 40 minutes of new footage that was cut/reshot/replaced by the director. The producer’s cut is literally how it sounds. The theatrical version was disappointing for me, because it had too many loose ends and plot holes. This version however, clears up most of the problems.

Let me state right now that because of the comparisons I will be making to the theatrical version, it will be impossible to stay spoiler free. If you don’t want it spoiled, don’t read further.

First of all, this film is so much better than the theatrical version. All the loose ends, weird cuts, holes in the story, strange conversations and terrible ending are now all gone. Everything has been tied together in this one. You know right away that the film was meant to go in a completely different direction, because the opening titles have the “a” in Halloween as the Thorn rune. That’s a big hint at what we are in for.

The music is also a lot different. The original score from Halloween is much more prominent in this version, which makes it scary. Every Halloween film should use the original score, because it doesn’t feel right without it. There is no reason to fiddle with the score in these movies, since John Carpenter already created a perfect one.

Now, it’s not a completely different film, as both versions have pretty much the same basic skeleton of the story. However at about one hour into the film, there is nothing from the theatrical version included, and the ending is completely different. Matter of fact, about 35-40 minutes of the film is brand new footage. It may not sound like much, but we are talking about the entire third act here.

The “man in black” Dr. Wynn is much more prominent in the life of Kara’s son, and the scene where Danny holds a knife up to the grandfather makes more sense. Danny goes over to the window where the man in black shows him Michael, and says “kill for him.” Now the act doesn’t seem as random as the theatrical version.

Another big difference is that Michael doesn’t even kill Jamie. He stabs her in the barn and leaves; assuming she is dead. It’s not until later in the film where the man in black kills her in the hospital. In the theatrical version, we are treated to that piece of farming equipment chewing her up, but none of that here.

The extreme violence we see in the theatrical version is pretty much gone. Trust me when I say that it helps the story tremendously. Halloween was never a Friday the 13th type slasher, so the less gore the better in this series. The grandfather was actually killed by Michael quickly, and nothing about his skin burning or foaming at the mouth from electrocution. There is no hospital room scene with Michael going crazy on the staff. That is a cool scene in the theatrical version though.

There are so many extra Loomis and Wynn scenes that help the story flow along at a better pace. This movie was as much a psychological battle between Wynn and Loomis as it was about a Michael Myers story. The major plot twist involves Dr. Wynn turning on Loomis, so cutting the scenes in the theatrical version really does no justice to what actually happened.

The producer’s cut takes quite a big turn after the cult kidnaps Kara. She is taken prisoner by the cult because they want to offer her as a sacrifice, and pass the evil curse on to her son Danny. This way, the madness can start again with someone they can “raise” so to speak. This is a great scene in the film, because they really half-assed it in the theatrical version. In that version, they follow the story for about 60 minutes, and completely abandon it in the third act.

This doesn’t make a shred of sense. The powers that be claimed to cut the film because they couldn’t continue the story when Pleasence died, but then they release Halloween H20 and completely ignore the storyline anyway?!

Why it was released as a completely different story is still a mystery to me and many others. The Producer’s Cut actually has a coherent story, and they released a jumbled mess that had no business being released in a theater. Some of the scenes in the theatrical cut are ridiculous, because they cut so much that they don’t make any sense. Michael was never effected by anything in his life before, but suddenly Tommy Doyle can beat him senseless with a metal pipe? Um, what?

Overall, I’m glad I have this version, as I believe this is how it was intended to be released. This review may seem glowing, but the added story doesn’t make it an amazing movie; just a better one, You either like the Thorn storyline or you don’t. I can dig it. It’s a little bit of method to his madness, but at least this was an interesting way to explain it. You won’t find it in stores, so you’ll have to track down a copy of the DVD floating around. Come on, this is the world wide web, use it!

8.1/10

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Directed By: Joe Chappelle
Written By: Daniel Farrands
Year of Release: 1995

Dr. Sam Loomis is once again in pursuit of the homicidal Michael Myers. Now driven by a satanic power, Myers chases his grown niece and her child to his midwestern hometown of Haddonfield. Although the town is trying to overcome it’s past history of nightmarish bloodletting, a local radio shock jock is stirring things up again and the unlucky residents of Myers’ former house are turning up dead.

Get a group of 100 Halloween fans together and ask them if they like this entry. Then watch as the crowd will suddenly part 50/50 as if Moses commanded them in some sort of Red Sea fashion. Halloween fans either hate this or love this. There is no in-between. Where do I fall? Well..

To say that I find this film interesting would be an understatement. Let me first state that I took classes about pagan mythology, so to actually use the man in black as some modern day druid that uses the runes to control Michael is a great and original idea. Does it work in the scope of a Halloween movie? Not quite, but I applaud them for trying. The main problem I have is that it gives a method to his madness which ruins the earlier versions of him. If there is a reason for his insanity, then he’s not really the bogeyman anymore.

Unfortunately, the film is dragged down by the apparently difficult to work with Joe Chappelle. Donald Pleasence reported that he was incredibly difficult to work with, and treated him pretty poorly. Danielle Harris wanted to be part of the project, but the story goes that Joe Chappelle did everything he could to keep her out of it. I know we can’t really go on hearsay, but when all the actors in the picture have the same stories, everything begins to correlate.

He is responsible for cutting most of the infamous “Producer’s Cut” version, and rewriting it to his liking. He also completely rewrote the ending to his version. The producer apparently had many creative differences with him. Chappelle also cut most of Loomis’ parts out because he found them to be “boring.” So, I have a regretful feeling that this film wasn’t put out how it was originally intended. It seems like Chappelle was doing everything he could to sabotage the film, which is a shame.

One thing I do like about this movie is Michael Myers and his mask. Something about that mask he wears looks terrifying and soul-less as ever. I’ve never liked the films that showed his eyes, because it ruins the illusion. Besides the original, I don’t remember him looking this imposing. The rage seems to fill him more than ever, because this is Michael at his most violent.

Michael is driven by an anger that isn’t matched by any of the other films. He is ruthless, and every move has a purpose. Some of the kills in this film are pretty gory, which is unexpected for a Halloween. If you are a gore fan, this will be the most satisfying of the series for you. One of the creepiest scenes involves Myers slicing up an entire hospital ward.

I do give credit to Chappelle’s style chops with the camera. Without a doubt, this is one of the coolest Halloween’s you’ll watch. This is also one of the few films that was actually shot during Halloween. The town of Salt Lake City, Utah must be excellent for Halloween, because all the fall shots look wonderful. Great use of shadows and suspenseful moments that build up the terror even more. The opening shot on the street the Strodes live on is perfect.

An old character from the Halloween mythologies pops up when we are introduced to Tommy Doyle. If you don’t recognize the name, he’s the little boy in the original that Laurie babysits. Naturally, being a victim of something that traumatic, Tommy is haunted by the memories of Michael. It’s a nice touch to connect this film with the others.

When it’s all said and done, I’m ultimately left with a feeling of what could have been. With a proper director who would know his role, this probably would have been a lot better. I liked the story, but they only hint at what drives him, instead of really getting into it. Way too much cut and chop by the director made it a complete mess.

Why no Danielle Harris again?

5.7/10

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Directed By: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Written By: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Year of Release: 1989

It’s been one year since Michael Myers returned to terrorize his hometown of Haddonfield, and his long-lost niece, Jamie Lloyd. Now, he wants revenge! Young Jamie, who has lost her ability to speak since attacking her foster mother, has developed a telepathic link with her demonic uncle. The ever resourceful Dr. Sam Loomis has realized this, and plans to use it to finally put an end to Michael’s rage. However, unknown to Loomis, a stranger has come to town, and he is a key factor in the madness that has plagued Haddonfield on Halloween for over ten years!

Coming off the box office smash of it’s predecessor, Halloween 5 was rushed into production and hit theaters in one short year. I expected a lot more from this film. That’s usually not a good sign, because if you rush into a movie, it will show up on the screen.

There are a lot of cool ideas in this movie that really are never capitalized on. Traumatized after the events transpiring in Part 4, Jamie Lloyd is now mute and under the care of a psychiatric hospital. It works in some scenes, and in others it’s comical. Jamie is somehow linked psychically to her uncle Mike, but it doesn’t do anything to advance the story. One thing that always bothered me was the fact that Jamie committed murder in the previous movie, but no one seems to acknowledge that as a big deal in this one. Why?

The way they spin Michael’s survival defies any kind of rational thinking. So, we are supposed to believe that some old man takes him in? Wouldn’t normal logic say, “hey, some strange person in a mask just passed out in my house, maybe I should get some help.” Why didn’t he inform the police? A hospital? Anyone? For god’s sake, Michael tried to grab his throat and strangle him just before losing consciousness. If he wasn’t friendly then, he certainly isn’t gonna be happy waking up from a year long slumber.

The characters fall victim to a few too many genre cliches to be entertaining. Not one, but two girls go to Rachel’s house to visit her. She is supposed to be there, but isn’t. A little strange you’d think, but not to these characters. They leave, and figure nothing is wrong. Honestly, are people really that oblivious when they know that Rachel was almost murdered a year earlier?

Another thing that irritated me about this movie was that awful mask. It’s not creepy, it’s terrible. I know this is a fanboy thing, but the fact that the length of his mask on the neck is so long and never tucked in makes it looks hilarious. He’s lucky a strong wind didn’t blow, because that thing would have went flying off his head.

Even with all the bad parts, it still managers to be entertaining. The characters lack the depth that they did in previous entries, but Loomis is still great as the doctor despite the terrible writing (why is he threatening a child again?), and Jamie at least makes her mute character believable. The other stereotypical characters are only there for Michael to knock off, so no complaints in that department.

When you go into an 80′s horror movie, you can expect things to be campy, because it’s a horror movie. However, the strange choices of scenery in this movie fail to make it scary. Michael stalking in broad daylight can be scary, but when you see him covered by only a small branch behind a tree, it’s a wonder that no one spotted him.

The ending between Loomis and Michael is very cool, because it wraps up the two characters so well, but they go too far at the end and almost ruin it. I understand that it was prelude to the next movie, but it leaves a very strange taste in your mouth once the credits hit.

When it’s all said and done, it’s one of the weakest in the series, but entertaining nonetheless. With a stronger story, it could have been better, but that’s what happens when you rush a movie out. At least the opening credits kick ass. Watch it back-to-back with part 4 for a complete experience.

6.1/10

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Directed By: Dwight H. Little
Written By: Alan B. McElroy
Year of Release: 1988

It’s been a decade since Michael Myers had his last killing spree in Haddonfield. While being transferred from the Ridgemont Maximum Security Hospital, Michael Myers, who’s been sleeping dormant in a coma for the last ten years, suddenly awakens. Meanwhile, back in Haddonfield, Myers’ niece Jamie Lloyd is having nightmares about her evil uncle. Her step-sister Rachel takes her out trick-or-treating, but instead of finding a night of fun, they find Michael Myers!

Much to fans dismay, Halloween 3 hit theaters and had nothing to do with any of the previous installments. No Haddonfield, no Loomis, and no Myers. Once the backlash hit, there was no more wondering if fans wanted Myers back. Needless to say, it’s the night he comes home. (again)

The story doesn’t really break the mold, as it follows the formula of the original. Michael escapes, he goes back to Haddonfield to find someone, and Loomis has to stop him. It may not be an inventive story, but it’s a logical next step in the series, so it works in sequel form.

Donald Pleasance is great as always as the mad doctor Sam Loomis and Ellie Cornell is very girl next door. Danielle “weird fanboys stalk me” Harris gives a very believable performance as Jamie Lloyd, considering the fact that she was only 11 at the time. I’m usually against most child stars too. Fuck Dakota Fanning.

The thing about the Halloween films up to this point is that they were always high in production values when you consider other 80′s horror. This entry deserves some credit, as there are plenty of genuinely creepy moments. Michael sitting up with his body being lit only by the occassional lightning strikes outside the window is frightening even to those who won’t admit it. Michael’s mask looks pretty different in this film too, and absolutely nothing like how it’s pictured on the theatrical poster. However, the mask is completely expressionless, which makes it very eerie.

Once again, Loomis is the only one convinced that Michael is pure evil and after the remaining members of his family. Although, once he manages to convince the police department, the town goes into full blown hysteria. People are ordered to retreat to their homes and lock all doors, young kids dress up as Myers playing pranks, and a lynch mob of rednecks with shotguns plan to take down Myers. It’s nice watching Loomis try to balance all of these elements while trying to combat Michael.

Dwight Little does a great job building tension and suspense, and the constant blue hue in the night is a nice touch. The great thing about this film is that it’s dark, in a literal sense. A lot of the times the movie is only lit by candles, streetlights, or the moon. It really adds to the suspense of “where is Michael?” The rooftop chase is an amazing scene.

To be honest, I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve watched this film at least 40 times. It comes on AMC’s Monsterfest during Halloween playing back-to-back with part 5, and I either watch it or have it running in the background every time. It’s a great suspenseful entry in the Halloween series, and those opening credits capture the Halloween season in the midwest perfectly.

8.3/10

Halloween III (1982)

Directed By: Tommy Lee Wallace
Written By: Tommy Lee Wallace
Year of Release: 1982

Silver Shamrock, a mass-producer of Halloween masks, plan to kill millions of innocent people worldwide by placing pieces of a stolen boulder from Stonehenge into small tags and attaching them to the masks. When children all over the world sit down to watch the Silver Shamrock advertisement, terror and panic will spread. Dr. Dan Challis investigates a series of bizarre and horrifying incidents that begin to unfold before Halloween evening, and comes face to face with the sinister figure of Conal Conhran, maker of the evil masks.

This is by far the most hated entry in the Halloween series. Why? Well, because there is no Michael Myers to be found. The excuse doesn’t make sense, because simply reading a brief description of the movie will let you know about the absence. It’s one of those films that people like to hate because the majority says you should hate it. Looking at it outside of the storyline of Michael Myers, it’s really not too bad.

The story is so dark that I’m surprised they allowed it to bear the Halloween name. It follows the company Silver Shamrock, a mass-producer of Halloween masks. They plan to kill millions of children worldwide by placing pieces of a stolen boulder from Stonehenge into small tags and attaching them to the masks.

Killing all the children? How much darker does it get? SWEET.

Beneath the story, it’s basically a criticism or commentary on Corporate America. If we want to get more in depth, then it’s how Corporate America manipulates the masses through the media. Something John Carpenter would also explore in his later film “They Live.” Many times throughout the film, we are reminded why they replaced humans with robots: “Because they are more obedient.”

I’m not a terribly big fan of the main character Dr. Challis’ acting in this one. He’s not bad, but he’s not really good either. The love affair he has with Ellie is absolutely forced, and really looks uncomfortable and out of place. He meets this woman, they randomly have sex, and are inseperable lovers until the end? Huh? Maybe I don’t understand the 80′s as well as I thought I did.

There are a lot of parts about this movie that are terribly absurd, but really funny when you think about it. First of all, they stole a piece of Stonehenge, which is located in England. They never explain how they stole this 19 ton piece of rock and magically transported it to California. Would it really be hard for authorities to track down a missing stone that large?

Second, Cochran says to watch for the big giveaway at 9pm, where he plans to kill all the children. However, that is in California, so what about people in my time zone? It would be 11pm, and I’m sure parents don’t let their children stay up until 11pm to watch some stupid giveaway. Where is the logic?

The music is probably the best part of this movie. It’s nice and spooky, thus very true to any other Halloween film. John Carpenter and Alan Howarth composed it, so it’s no surprise. I guarantee that little Silver Shamrock jingle will haunt you for the rest of your life. No that’s not an exaggeration. IT WILL.

You’ll actually be surprised how downright violent this film is. It’s bizarre in a few scenes, because the movie seems so mellow, then suddenly you have these mindless robotic people tearing heads off of their victims. Not to mention, actually killing children. That takes some balls to put out.

When you consider the story, it’s hard not the laugh at the absurdity. With robots killing others, killing themselves, and even destroying children, it all comes to a point of “what is going on?!” One of my favorite parts is actually the ending. I applaud them for the darkness. The little twist before is hilarious, but the ending was satisfying.

When it’s all said and done, it really isn’t too bad of a movie. It has a creepy atmosphere thanks to the music, an incredibly dark storyline, and it’s violent. The film looks really dated by the technology they use, but everything else works for the era. This is one of those films that you can watch every Halloween that is related to the holiday, but without the inclusion of Michael Myers. Worth a look.

5.8/10

Halloween II (1981)

Directed By: Rick Rosenthal
Written By: John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Year of Release: 1981

Shaken and injured from her battle with the psycho Michael Myers, Laurie Strode is taken to the Haddonfield Hospital for observation, while Dr. Sam Loomis continues his desperate search for his monstrous patient. After slashing his way through the town, Myers manages to track Laurie to the hospital. Now, the entire hospital staff is threatened as Myers closes in on his wounded target.

In the realm of horror films, finding a true sequel that is a direct continuation of the previous film is nearly impossible. With actor changes, different production teams, and the years that pass between the films, it isn’t hard for a sequel to barely resemble the original story. However, Halloween II is one of those films that lives up to the original, and is arguably the best sequel of any horror film. Of course, it’s the best sequel because the script was actually written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill.

The original could have passed for PG-13, but this one definitely earns the R rating. Unlike the first, the blood flows plenty in this film. The deaths are shown in full glory, as opposed to the “I wonder..” aspect of the original. They add a nice touch for those that prefer the bloodier side of horror, and show a completely different side of Myers from the rather bland kills from the original. As his pursuit continues, he gets increasingly more violent and willing to kill, as opposed to his stealth tactics of the original.

Luckily, Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence both reprise their roles, so there are no weird continuity errors. Jamie has a role, but not too much of one as she’s immobile most of the film. This presents a bit of a problem, because you have to drag out an entire movie with the main character out of commission. Regardless, it works. Knowing that the Shape is lurking when his target is drugged and incapacitated is terrifying. Pleasence is still wonderful as the only person who seems to notice the darkness in Michael.

Rosenthal does a very good job of directing. Sure, it’s not difficult to make an empty hospital look foreboding, but that doesn’t disregard the fact. Michael appearing on hospital security cams is scarier than it sounds. Rosenthal also builds the suspense wonderfully, though some credit must be given to the script he was given by Carpenter. The entire sequence of Michael chasing a wounded Laurie is the stuff of nightmares.

While the movie does pick up exactly after the original, the actor portraying Michael Myers is different. He also has a different body shape, which kind of ruins the illusion because the mask doesn’t quite fit like the original. He still looks terrifying, but different. Dick Warlock does a nice job as Myers, but he lacks the grace of Nick Castle.

When all the elements are pulled together, it makes for a terrific sequel to the original. There are tons of memorable images to draw inspiration from, such as the ending which I won’t spoil. I prefer the more suspenseful original, but I’ll never turn down a viewing of this film. For a fun time, watch the original and follow it up with this immediately after. It will actually blend together as one complete film.

9.4/10